Torn
As Phil checked on his mother on Fat Tuesday morning, she was more cognizant than he had seen her in days, even turning on the morning news. There was a story about the line at a local bakery for Fat Tuesday, everyone getting paczki, and Phil’s mother said in a remarkably cheery voice upon seeing Phil, “Good morning son! It’s Fat Tuesday! Remember when I would make you paczki?”
“Yes, mom. I always liked yours even though they didn’t have any filling.”
“That’s the way I was taught to make them, but I always did like those ones with plum filling that you used to buy me,” commented his mother.
Then she asked, “Do you think you could run to the bakery and get me one?”
Phil was torn. He was told that his mother shouldn’t be left alone, and he had no one that he could call to come over to watch her for a short period of time.
“Mom, you know you aren’t supposed to be left alone,” said Phil with disappointment.
“Oh, okay,” said Phil’s mother, in a voice that crushed Phil’s soul knowing this might be the last treat she would ever get.
Phil tried to think of anyone he might be able to ask to watch his mother, but he had never made friends with any of the new neighbors, and was pretty sure he had seen all of them already leave their houses.
As he sat in the living room for a few minutes, watching the TV with her and seeing another news story of a bakery with people standing in line to get paczki, he decided at that minute he had to take the chance.
Phil rushed to his bedroom, quickly changed into some day-old jeans, threw on the first t-shirt he could find, grabbed his car keys, and hurried back to the living room not realizing that his wallet had fallen out of his jeans as he was putting them on.
With nervousness in his voice, Phil said, “Mom, I’m going to run out for a few minutes and get us paczki. Can you promise that you won’t do anything, won’t get up, and will just stay in your chair and watch T.V.? Maybe you’ll see me in line!”
Phil knew he was going to be at a different bakery, but hoped that by telling her to watch for him, she wouldn’t get out of her chair while he was gone.
“Oh, that sounds like fun. Don’t worry, Philly, I’ll stay right here. Hurry back!” exclaimed his mother.
Phil gave his mom a kiss and hurried to his car feeling completely distraught at having to leave her alone, but knowing that he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t go and get her one, last, plum paczki.
As he drove to The Garden Bakery, he felt lucky, making every green light, and thought maybe this was a sign from God that he was doing the right thing. That thought quickly changed when he got to the bakery and saw the line out the door.
Taking his place in line, he hoped things would move quickly. To try to take his mind off of things, he took out his phone and started scrolling social media. In his feed were the standard birthday wishes, advertisements that made him wonder how they knew he was going to be looking to move soon, and then he saw a headline that read, “Click to Find the New Way the Government is Fighting Climate Change.”
Phil clicked to get to the story and was surprised to find, “In the latest government study, they have decided to try and airdrop an army of environmentally conscious otters into Lake Michigan to fight Asian Carp and combat climate change.”
Phil shook his head and put his phone back into his pocket realizing the link was just some fake news story. He was also oblivious to Ben and Amy who had taken their place in line behind him.
All he could do in line was fidget while trying to think of anything but his mother sitting alone, in front of her TV, watching for him on the news.
Finally he made his way to the front of the line.
“Hi, I’m Phil”
“What can I get you?”
“Can I get one raspberry and one plum?”
“Is a bag okay?”
“A bag will be fine.”
“Is there any way I can take them and come back with the money. I forgot my wallet.”
“We have plenty. You can just come back and we’ll probably still have some.”
“You don’t understand, I don’t have a lot of time.”
“I’m sorry you forgot your wallet, but you can come back.”
“I’ll pay for his. How much is it?”
“$5.50.”
“Oh my God. God bless you. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. I’ll pay you back. Can you let me know how I can contact you?”
“It’s Fat Tuesday, enjoy!”
Phil took the bag of paczki and hurried back to his car, catching all green lights on the drive back home.
As he came in the door, he was relieved to hear, “Philly, is that you? I didn’t see you on the TV.”
He made his way to the living room, “Yea, mom, I guess they were facing a different way when I got there. I got the paczki.”
Phil went back to the kitchen and put each of the paczki on plates, returned to the living room, and gave his mother the plate with the plum paczki.
She coughed a little bit, and the powdered sugar exploded like a dust cloud, covering her shirt and pants. Seeing this made Phil laugh as he was just getting ready to eat his raspberry version, causing a cascade of powdered sugar down the front of his clothes.
His mother laughed, and they both sat, saying nothing, eating their paczki while lovingly gazing at each other.
When they finished Phil got up to get her plate, “Is there anything else you need, mommy.”
“I’m okay, Philly. Thank you for getting the paczki. It was just what I needed.”
Phil took their plates to the kitchen, cleaned them off, and upon returning to the living room caught his mom’s eyes beginning to close. As she looked at him, an ever so small smile came to her face. She whispered, “Don’t worry, I’m okay,” and her eyes closed.
That was the last time Phil would see his mother’s eyes.